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Lux swirled duck white wine around in the glass, her big eyes gazing into it as if all the answers to life's problems were hiding in her sauvignon blanc. I'm thirsty! I crossed my legs like a lady and popped a piece of rare steak into my mouth.

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And you don't want to start a real, long-term relationship with a drunken one-nighter Violet clanked her glass against mine. And between the three of us, who are passionate and well-versed in all sexual matterswe em down the perfect qualities a fuck buddy needs to embody in this day and age: They live in a neighborhood you would never want to live or play in.

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You need to keep your regular life and your fuck buddy life completely separate. For example, I love the West Village of Manhattan, and my social life is centered around there.

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And that is crossing a serious line. That's how the love disease first starts to manifest. Also, anytime someone catches you before you've had your coffee, they're seeing the most raw, stripped-down version of you.

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So you're basically screwed from this point on. When someone sees the unmasked you without any caffeine, they will fall in love with you. Vulnerability is sexy. They will catch feelings, and you might catch them right back because that shit is contagious. The only time I ever bbuddy a successful fuck buddy was about four years ago, and it was with a woman who was moving to another country.

I have a hard time just having cold sex, as I tend to pour my heart out in the bedroom, even if it's with a random. Now, this a great quality, but it can be dangerous when trying to maintain proper fuck buddy etiquette. Feelings are easily caught when passionate kisses are exchanged.

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The only solution is to find someone who is moving soon, preferably to another country. This way, you both know from the beginning there is no chance this little sex affair will ever escalate into something more. Feelings are easily caught when passionate kisses are exchanged And then, when your friends say, "Well, what about your fuck buddy? Why don't you take it further?

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That's ideal, baby. Personally, I would never, ever seriously date someone who was really into organized religion.

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No disrespect. I'm just fundamentally not about that life. And lezbehonest: I don't think a diehard Christian is going to want to wed an agnostic lesbian like me. But hey, babe. In this case, we can totally be fuck buddies! Sex has no religion, nor does it have a political party.

mf So if you're a raging Democrat, try scoring yourself a diehard Republican fuck buddy, whose core values are much different than yours. Plus, you can have heated political or religious debates, and then, hop right into having passionate hate sex. Hate sex is great with a fuck buddy, but it's a terrible habit to get into when you're in a relationship.

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You end mee picking fights, and the relationship grows really toxic. But picking fights and fucking off the tension with someone temporary? That's totally fine. They're a little dumb.

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I know I'm a pretentious bitch for calling people dumb, but look, darlings, I own it. I'm a pretentious bitch, and you all should get into the pretentious-bitch hepace when you're dealing with a fuck buddy, too. Trust me. Now is not the time to channel your inner all-people-are-created-equal, yogi-sweetheart guru.

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Be a ruthless bitch, and seek out sexing someone who isn't nearly as smart as you are. And intrigue quickly turns into fiery passion, fucm turns into love, eventually. A massive age gap can actually work out in your favor. Sometimes, it doesn't have to be a physical age gap. It could be that their spiritual age is vastly different as well. I had a brief fuck buddy situation with a year-old girl when I was I had a career, and I had my shit together for the most part. Trust me, you won't want to fucm with a year-old fuckboy, whose room smells like socks.

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But she didn't at all, and she wasn't yet interested in being together. She wanted to play with baby dykes seven nights per week, and I wanted to kill it at work and play with baby dykes on the weekends. Em you will want to fuck that fuckboy, which clearly makes him a fab fuck buddy!

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