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By Alexia LaFata Jan. They're kind, good-looking, intelligent, funny and some of the most genuine people I know.

So, so genuine! They are my pillars of strength, my rocks and the rational, grounded side of me that I so desperately need sometimes. Or, even worse, they just have no description at all. And not only do their descriptions not accurately reflect their vivacious personalities, but their profile pictures look NOTHING like them. It pains me to look at them. I also have lots of female friends who use Tinder.

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And we are quite vocal with fo other about admiring profiles looikng like and shitting on profiles we think are terrible. All of this means I like to think I've got a pretty good handle on what the average something woman might look for when she's swiping. So hear me out. And then when you're done reading this, feel free oloking delete it from your browser history so nobody knows a thing.

Know how women use Tinder. But why? Would fuck, would not fuck. It's very simple for you guys. This means we're looking at your pictures, your description and how both of those things align to tell us something about who you are. Your first picture needs to be A. Flash on. Can't lose.

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And make sure there are no other faces in the picture. This early in the swiping game, you and me are disposable. So you have to make me want to click your profile. Include a bio that isn't too long.

One word is too short, and a paragraph is too much. Again, this isn't OKCupid or Match, so you don't need to write a whole thing. If you're not the funny guy at all see tip 14maybe include where you're from, a cool place you've traveled and something you do for fun. Have more than one picture.

It makes sime think you're fake. Make sure you look the same in all your pictures. Well, when we met in real life, he only resembled ONE picture.

This step is vital. Make sure your pictures emphasize your best features.

I told him this, and he seemed offended, like I'd just told him he wasn't hot at all. He was super, super hot. In other words, it wasn't hot. Do you see what I mean? You need to make sure a picture you think is good is actually a good picture. We walk around thinking about our appearance at literally all hours of the day. dun

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Preferably a female friend. It's one of those left over archaic things we still care about. When we're swiping through your pictures, we're trying to figure out how tall you are. Like, we are using markers from things and people around you in your photos to literally size you up. So don't try to hide your height. If you're on the shorter side and you feel insecure about posting a full-body picture, don't.

The average height for an adult American woman is 5'4". Swedish girls have the tallest average, at 5'7". Statistically, any woman you meet will be shorter than you. You're fine. By the way, when I say "full-body picture," I don't mean a naked mirror picture of your abs. Seriously, you guys. Do not do this. DO NOT. There are more subtle ways to show off your body.

Even a picture of you playing goddamn frisbee in your bathing suit at the beach is more subtle, despite the fact that you are very clearly shirtless. This isn'tnor is it MySpace. For the love of God and all that is Holy, take the sunglasses off. Why do you guys do this? I'm not saying we're thinking incest I get it. That way, by the time I get to them, I'll know exactly what you look like because I'll have seen lots of individual pictures of you, and I won't genuiine guessing if you're the dude in the green shirt or the dude in the blue one.

This is Tinder.

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Not a fucking crossword puzzle. No girl wants to spend more than half a second trying to figure out where genuien are in a group picture. Listing both is ideal, since maybe we share the same alma mater, and that's a great conversation starter. Even if we're just trying to fuck you. But some girls might think that's revealing way too much too fast. And that's fair, too. Snapchat is a whole different ball game.

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I don't even know you. Why would I add you on Snapchat? Just think about it.

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Don't try to fool us, because you can't. But not all of us want that. I promise!

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OK, sure, some of us gjy. But not all. If you aren't the hypermasculine, emotionally detached, athletic asshole, don't be that in your profile. If you love the outdoors, be the outdoorsy guy in your profile. If you're the quirky, artsy guy, be the quirky, artsy guy. You can handle it. And it will help you get laid. I promise.

AvailabilityOnline
Age34
City
Hair ColorPink
Bust size36
CupD
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Eye ColorBlue